Calypso (dea_exmachina) wrote,


Ah! I just feel like screaming and beating the shit out of something and crying all at the same time! ><;;; I fucking hate how everyone in my family keeps putting me down and saying I'm worthless and then getting mad at me when I'm all moody around them. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. Obviously I'm not going to burst into freakin song and dance when all I hear from my grandparents and parents is "Ani you need to help your mother more around the house. What kind of woman are you going to become if you can't cook and clean and sew? Stop being lazy!" or "Aww look at your sister's report card, straight A's! I laugh at your second honors Ani. You'll never get into a good college. Bunker Hill community college here we come." I'm sick of it. I have no self esteem as it is I don't need them making it worse. I tried to spend Saturday studying for AP but no one seems to understand the "studying" concept. Music blaring, TV on excruciatingly high, my sister running around trying to talk to me, people coming over. Guess what Ani accomplished yesterday? Close to fucking nothing. And do you know what happened today? I woke up at 8 so my father and I could go driving. It was actually pretty fun. On the home way he was all "Hey let's go to grandma's for coffee" and I said fine thinking it was only a half hour deal. No. I find out he and my uncle have started this giant project of cleaning my grandmother's garage. I kept saying I need to get home to studying, but nope, we can't leave until the garage is clean, of course not! 5 fucking hours. 5 hours I could have been studying. Come wednesday for the AP test, I'm going to fail and when I get the results in the mail my parents are going to flip out and get mad at me but you know what I DON'T CARE. So I'm just going to sit in front of chemistry book and pretend I fucking understand any of it. Don't expect to see me in school tomorrow or tuesday. Don't bother calling or IMing me either because I'm in absolutely no mood to be talking to anyone for the next couple hours at least.
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